一 : green campus
Create a green campus
1.建设绿色校园十分重要
2.绿色校园不仅指绿色环境
3.为了建设绿色校园我们应该……
开篇点题 It is of great importance to make and maintain a green campus in our university or college. Obviously, a growing number of people are beginning
to realize that it is our duty to do that in the present days, since the concept
名词化作主语 of “a green world” has become the focus of the society. Creating a green
campus plays a decisive role in the physical development of students and
their mental health as well.
Concerning campus construction, it doesn’t exclusively involve green 近义词配对使用 environment preservation and protection, such as planting more trees and
flowers, which makes campus an ecological and natural surrounding, but
举例论证 advocating green products. For example, students are encouraged to avoid
using disposable plastic containers and recycle wasted electrical products
连接词、层次清楚 properly. In addition to the environmentally- friendly practice, we shall
make every effort to improve the moral standard and ethical level of
university students in order to create a civilized atmosphere for the sake of
举例说明 students’ mental health. For example, students will be severely punished in
case of cheating in exams and plagiarizing in academic papers.
状语提前，承接上文To make sure the campus is sustainable and recyclable, effective measures 被动句、强调主语 should be taken. Based on its education function, campus should bring the 三个动词并列 theory of “sustainable development” into classrooms, set environmental
management rules and conduct environmental education activities. More
递进/逻辑紧凑 importantly, campus also needs to strengthen its ties with the society, so
that students could have a better participation in the practical activities.
倒装句归纳总结 Only by the co-efforts of the whole society could “green campus” work
smoothly and bring benefit to the students’ well-beings.
此次的作文题目相对生僻，很多学生对于“绿色校园”这个概念不大熟悉。题中寓含的一个概念“环境”不可忽视，因此应当从环境问题着手，着重点放在校园在“环境保护”中所起的重要作用。
首先要理清概念。“绿色校园”不仅指校园的绿色环境，“绿色学校”是指学校在实现其基本教育功能的基础上，将以可持续发展理论为导向，在全面的日常工作中将可持续发展思想纳入管理中，通过制订环境管理制度，开展有效的环境教育活动，创设环境保护的文化氛围，促进师生、家长和专家参与环保和可持续发展的实际行动，全面提高师生的环境素养，共同为社会的可持续发展做出贡献。从概念就能看出“绿色校园”的重要性。关于环境我们可以找到三个词进行替换：environment, surrounding, atmosphere。
其次要弄清“绿色校园”的重要性。“绿色校园”不仅仅是带领学生参与各种环境保护活动，更重要的是教育学生，使学生具有环境意识，从而使学生从自己意识的角度来理解当前的环境问题，为未来的环境改善打下坚实的基础。
最后就是要采取的措施。要很好地建设“绿色校园”光靠学校自身是不够的，这需要全体社会的动员与支持。只有在整个社会的共同努力下，“绿色校园”才能充分发挥其作用。从学校的角度来讲，学校应当在学校全面的日常管理工作中纳入有益于环境的管理措施，并持续不断地改进，充分利用学校内外的一切资源和机会全面提高师生环境素养的学校；鼓励师生的民主公平地共同参与学校环境教育活动，加强学校与社区的合作和联系，在实践参与的过程中发展面向可持续发展的基本知识、技能、态度、情感、价值观和道德行为，即提高全体教职员工和学生的环境素养，落实环保行动。
从总体写作来看，这篇作文总的可以分为三段：
第一段：着重写“绿色校园”的概念，从其概念引出“绿色校园”的重要地位。
第二段：此段的重点就是“绿色校园”的重要性，它能够促进学生们积极地参与到实际的环境问题中去，而且还能树立学生们的环境保护意识，对社会做出重大的贡献。
第三段：鉴于“绿色校园”的重要性，我们应当采取什么措施来建设“绿色校园”，把“绿色校园”的作用发挥到最大。
此篇文章采用举例论证，作者通过举例来说明什么是绿色环境，让读者一目了然。举例论证是指运用典型事例来证明论点的方法。它能够使文章的观点得到有力的支撑，文章表
达的意思更明确，读者更明白，增强说服力。可以采用一下方法进行举例：
For example (instance),...
... such as A,B,C and so on (so forth)
A good case in point is...
A particular example for this is...
在语言方面，同义词或近义词的配对使用是这篇文章的特色。
例如：
S it doesn’t exclusively involve green environment preservation and protection, S which makes campus an ecological and natural surrounding,
S To make sure the campus is sustainable and recyclable
S moral standard and ethical level
S It is of great importance to make and maintain a green campus in our university
or college.
两个意思基本一样的词共同修饰同一个词，不是重复累赘，而是一种修辞手段，它有利于突出题旨，加深印象，并能显示文章的音律感和形式的整体感。这种修饰手段常见于较正式的文体。例如：
The first has all the standard sets and best sellers—unread, untouched. The second has a great many books—a few of them read through, most of them dipped into, but all of them as clean and shiny as the day they were bought.
The third has a few books or many—every one of them dog-eared and dilapidated, shaken and loosen by continual use, marked and scribbled in from front to back.
其中第四句和第五句属于近义词押头韵法(Alliteration)许多文章借助头韵，来加深印象，加快节奏，宣泄感情，渲染对比。如：
Scandals and scares, booms and busts made 1995 a period of tumult.
丑闻和恐慌，繁荣和惨败，使1995年成为动荡的一年。
Predictably the winter will be snowy, sleety and slushy.
估计今年冬天将雨雪纷飞，泥泞不堪。
1. 偏重校园话题，也结合时下流新的社会问题
2. 文章开头力求新颖
3. 段落清晰，有条理，可适当运用模板句型，但不能生搬硬套
4. 结构要完整，论证充分，层次清晰主题句与论证要相得益彰。
5. 句型应多样化，长短句，主被动，单复句交叉使用，可适当运用插入语。
6. 选词要灵活，注意同义词交替使用或配对使用以增强表达效果
7. 注意上下文的过渡与衔接，多用连接词。
8. 尽量使用地道的语言表达，如多用名词化，多用虚词等
9. 可用比较，举例，等方法论证
10. 可适当运用修辞手法以达到写作效果。
二 : In campus big pine tree
Schoolmates, you guessed, which scenery I most do like in the campus? Tells you, I most like in the campus the big pine tree! As soon as whenever I enter the school gate time, can pass through that big pine tree.In the summer, that big pine tree's leaf deep green, about the whole body is sending out one kind of full of vitality breath.The heavy rain has come, in the school flowers and plants are blown all curved have gotten down the waist, but, only then that big pine tree chins up and chest out, stands erect in the wind and rain.The wind and rain, the big pine tree will from now on appear even more tall and straight under the clear sky, bigger.The ancient and modern in China and abroad, many poets all use the verse to praise the big pine tree, like Bai Juyi "Pine tree", Hu Zhonggong "Chants Pine" and so on.Class recess time, I can be called schoolmates to look the big pine tree, makes the game under the big pine tree, also can lead schoolmate who comes newly to appreciate that big pine tree together.Whenever we are on vacation from school goes out the school gate time, also can pass by that big pine tree, we can cannot help but turn head frequently, with the big pine tree farewell, said the sound: “Will see tomorrow”. Schoolmates, you like our school the big pine tree? Likes the speech, welcome you to look to ours school oh!
四年级:杨穆楠
三 : English campus life
The school, but also see the help of friends.
Once I thought the school life in addition to reading or reading, boring.However, I was wrong......
I had three subjects are good, but spent two years of math and English I, ofthese two families are some unfamiliar, also dare not raise your hand in class. (scared.)
This semester, the teacher came up with a let those didn't love raised your hand has a large group of the most active fraction, plus two, the big group of second, plus 1 points, this also ignited the youth in our blood, our One's blood boils with indignation.!
These points can make those leaders (Curve Wrecker) play advantage.Also can let us this group of members (learn slag) there is a class of responsibility. Glory in seven grade school teacher said: "primary schoolgrades do not represent the school also bad bad!"
In the teacher's class, is full of our laughter, sometimes the teacher's chalk broke, the entire class was laughing, because leaves the teacher recentlyteased a classmate's strength is too deep, the chalk are written off, butleaves the teacher did not forget to take a deep breath movement!
初二:范淇淇
四 : 范文两篇-Creat a green campus
Campus is the place where university students spend most of their daily life through the four-year’s study. Hence, campus construction is of vital importance not only to the physical development of students but to their mental health as well. Concerning campus construction, it doesn’t exclusively involve green
environment preservation and protection, such as planting more trees and flowers, which makes campus an ecological and natural resort, but advocating green products. For example, students are encouraged to avoid using disposable plastic containers in campus dining hall and recycle wasted batteries and other electrical products properly. In addition to the environmentally friendly practice, we shall make every effort to improve the moral standard and ethical level of university students in order to create a civilized atmosphere for the sake of students’ mental health. For example, students will be severely punished in case of cheating in exams and plagiarizing in academic papers.
As a university student, not only shall we increase our awareness of the
importance of green environment in campus but also we take prompt action to purify the campus atmosphere and make it more harmonious.
满分范文：Create a Green Campus
It is of great importance to make and maintain a green campus in our university or college. Obviously, a growing number of people are beginning to realize that it is our duty to do that in the present days, since the concept of “a green world” has become the focus of the society.
The idea of “a green campus” is beyond a green environment. To begin with, the
development on the campus is to be sustainable and recyclable. Some of the authorities’ budget should be on how to reduce of the waste. What’s more, we’d better be aware of the seriousness of pollution around us. Thus the idea of environmental protection may become a common occurrence in our daily life.
It is necessary that effective actions should be taken to protect our campus from waste and pollution, and hence these activities are to play an increasingly important role in our day-to-day life. Certainly, there is little doubt that further consideration must be paid to our green campuses.
五 : Creating a Green Campus. You should write at least
| Creating a Green Campus. You should write at least 120 words following the outline given below: 1. 建设绿色校园很重要； 2. 绿色校园不仅指绿色的环境，还包括校园师生保护环境的文化素养……； 3. 为了建设绿色校园，我们应该…… |
Creating a Green Campus Recently, with the idea of making and maintaining “a green earth” being the focus of the society, “green campus” has become a more and more popular concept in schools, which, undoubtedly, will bring us an ever-lasting benefit to both our campus and our society. The concept of “green campus” does not only mean a green environment but also refers to an environmental sense in people’s mind. Campus plays a crucial role in educating the young generation and “green campus” will definitely have a good effect on students’ various environmental protection activities after their graduation. What’s more, the young generation is under the burden of severe environmental pollution and there are many problems waiting for us students to solve. To make “green campus” come true, firstly, it is necessary to work out effective principles for the development of sustainable and recyclable campus. Secondly, it calls for people’s awareness of the serious pollution around us and actual action to reduce the waste. Last but not the least, it is necessary to strengthen the ties between campus and society, so as to ensure that “green campus” can work smoothly with the co-effort of the whole society. |
试题分析：这是一篇提纲类作文，是关于Creating a Green Campus的话题，文字提示只有部分内容，需要我们做适当的发挥，可以从我们自己的做法：如不乱扔垃圾，节约等方面着手。我们需要用正确的英语把给出的要点表达出来.本作文中给出的要点比较具体,故需要准确表达.写作时注意准确运用时态，上下文意思连贯，符合逻辑关系，尽量使用自己熟悉的单词句式，同时也要注意使用高级词汇和高级句型使文章显得更有档次。特别注意在选择句式时要赋予变化。 点评：本文属于提纲类作文，动笔前，一定要认真分析要点，理解要点要表达的含义，不能遗漏要点，跑题偏题。平时除了加强词汇积累，写作联系以外，还可以适当记忆一些类似的范文，这样在考试中可以起到事半功倍的效果。 |
考点：
考点名称：提纲作文提纲作文的概念：
提纲作文就是把文章的情景和内容要求分成块，以条目的形式列出以进行写作。
提纲作文写作要领：
第一步：审题：
审题是否清楚是一篇书面表达成功与否的关键所在，在整个写作过程中起着决定性作用。审好题会让我们做到“磨刀不误砍柴工”，审题时要做到以下几点：
（1）审要求：书面表达试题一般都由“情景”和“要求”两部分构成。“情景”中包括所写材料的目的、对象、时间、地点、内容等，一般在书面表达题的前半部分；而“要求”一般在书面表达的后半部分，以“注意”形式给出，实际上是对考生提出的要求。因而考生对于题目所提供的说明，应认真分析、反复推敲，搞清提出的内容要求，抓住所要表达的信息点。 （2）审文体：高考书面表达的体裁一般有三大类：记叙文、说明文和应用文，具体形式有便条，日记，通知，书信，人物、事情、情景故事的描写，看图说话，缩写，扩写，改写等。审题时要审清文体，注意格式上的不同，避免出错。
（3）审人称：审查书面表达题干中隐含的读者对象和撰写人，即搞清楚此篇文章是“由谁写给谁”的。写稿人是谁一般都已明确指出，给出形式假设环境中的“某人”，如“假设你是李华”，写作时即用第一人称“我”，即李华。而读者对象有时没有明示，要考生自己去进行判断。
（4）审时态：根据情景判断短文需要的主体时态，即搞清楚要写的是什么时候的事，过去的就用过去时。比如日记，是叙述过去发生的事情，自然用过去时；通知多用将来时。
第二步：抓中心，列要点，列出写作提纲：
写作文时，一定要切题，抓住中心，紧扣要点。不要任意发挥，画蛇添足，也不要丢三落四，要点不全。通过对众多提示或图画、图表的观察和分析，获取与写作内容有关的主要信息，并按一定的逻辑顺序排列起来，找出最密切相关的要点，列出写作提纲。
第三步：选词组句：
在体裁明确、中心突出、要点清晰的前提下，应该选择自己最熟悉、最有把握的词语、句型，将要点逐条表达出来。表达时应该综合运用所掌握的知识，避开生僻的词汇，并克服母语的干扰，按照英语的习惯方式，用地道的英语表达出来，力求做到语言准确无误。
第四步：连句成篇：
根据要点选词组句，然后按照篇章结构连句成篇。在这一过程中要注意选择恰当的表示并列、递进、因果或转折意义的过渡词，把所有要点、句子连接起来，使句与句意思连贯，结构衔接，力求准确生动、条理清楚。
第五步：复查纠错：
通读全文，检查内容是否符合要求，要点是否齐全，格式是否正确，词数是否合乎要求。最主要的是要检查句子是否符合英语习惯，句型是否正确，语法是否正确（包括句子结构、时态、语态、主谓一致等），检查单词是否误写、少写，习语搭配是否得当等，以及字母大小写、标点符号是否正确等，这就要求考生在定稿认真检查，仔细核对，及时发现并改正问题，保证要点齐全，句子完整通顺，力争减少失误。
第六步：书写规范，卷面整洁：
书面表达不仅反映在表达内容上，也反映在书面形式上。一定要注意单词拼写正确，书写规范，字迹工整，卷面力求整洁，正确使用标点符号，使别人看起来耳目一新，具有整体美感，从而提高自己的得分档次。
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