一 : 《人性的弱点》第一篇第1章 如欲采蜜，勿蹴蜂房

在一九三一年的五月七日，纽约市民看到一桩从未见到过，骇人听闻的围捕格斗！凶手是个烟酒不沾，有「双枪」之称，叫「克劳雷」的罪犯。他被包围，陷落在西末街--他情人的公寓里。 On May 7, 1931, the most sensational manhunt NewYork City had ever known had come to its climax. Afterweeks of search, “Two Gun” Crowley - the killer, thegunman who didn’t smoke or drink - was at bay, trappedin his sweetheart’s apartment on West End Avenue.　　一百五十名警方治安人员，把克劳雷包围在他公寓顶层的藏身处。他们在屋顶凿了个洞，试图用催泪毒气把凶手克劳雷熏出来。警方人员已把机枪安置在附近四周的建筑物上，经过有1个多小时的时问，这个纽约市里原来清静的住宅区，就一阵阵的响着惊心刺耳的机枪、手枪声。克劳雷藏在一张堆满杂物的椅子后面，手上的短枪，接连的向警方人员射击。上万的人，怀着激动而兴奋的心情，观看这幕警匪格斗的场面。久住纽约的人都知道，从来没有发生过这样的变故。 　　One hundred and fifty policemen and detectives laidsiege to his top-floor hideway. They chopped holes inthe roof; they tried to smoke out Crowley, the “copkiller,” with teargas. Then they mounted their machineguns on surrounding buildings, and for more than anhour one of New York’s fine residential areas reverberatedwith the crack of pistol fire and the rut-tat-tat ofmachine guns. Crowley, crouching behind an over-stuffed chair, fired incessantly at the police. Ten thousandexcited people watched the battle. Nothing like itever been seen before on the sidewalks of NewYork.　　当克劳雷被捕后，警察总监「马罗南」指出：这暴徒是纽约洽安史上，最危险的1个罪犯。这位警察总监又说：「克劳雷他杀人，就像切葱一样．…：他会判处死刑！」 　　When Crowley was captured, Police CommissionerE. P. Mulrooney declared that the two-gun desperadowas one of the most dangerous criminals ever encounteredin the history of New York. “He will kill,” said theCommissioner, “at the drop of a feather.”　　可是，「双枪」克劳雷认为自己又是何等的1个人呢？当警方人员围击他藏身的公寓时，克劳雷写了一封公开的信，写的时候因伤口流血，使那张纸上留下了他的血迹！克劳雷的信这样写着：「在我衣服里面，是一颗疲惫的心--那是仁慈的，一颗不愿意伤害任何人的心。」 　　But how did “Two Gun” Crowley regard himself? Weknow, because while the police were firing into hisapartment, he wrote a letter addressed “To whom it mayconcern, ” And, as he wrote, the blood flowing from hiswounds left a crimson trail on the paper. In this letterCrowley said: “Under my coat is a weary heart, but akind one - one that would do nobody any harm.”　　在这件事不久之前，克劳雷驾着汽车在长岛一条公路上，跟1个女伴调情。那时突然走来1个警察，来到他停着的汽车旁边，说：「让我看你的驾驶执照。」 　　A short time before this, Crowley had been having anecking party with his girl friend on a country road outon Long Island. Suddenly a policeman walked up to thecar and said: “Let me see your license.”　　克劳雷不说一句话，拔出他的手枪，就朝那警察连开数枪，那警察终于倒地而死。接着克劳雷从汽车里跳了出来，捡起那警察手枪时，又朝地上这具尸体放了一枪。这是克劳雷所说：「在我衣服里面，是一颗疲惫的心-- 是仁慈的，一颗不愿意伤害任何人的心。」 　　Without saying a word, Crowley drew his gun and cutthe policeman down with a shower of lead. As the dyingofficer fell, Crowley leaped out of the car, grabbed theofficer’s revolver, and fired another bullet into the prostratebody. And that was the killer who said: “Under mycoat is a weary heart, but a kind one - one that would donobody any harm.’　　克劳雷被判死刑坐电椅，当他走进受刑室时，你想他会说：「这是我杀人作恶的下场？」不，他说的是：「我是因为要保卫我白自己，才这样做的。」 　　Crowley was sentenced to the electric chair. When hearrived at the death house in Sing Sing, did he say, “Thisis what I get for killing people”? No, he said: “This iswhat I get for defending myself.”　　这段故事所指的含意，是「双枪」克劳雷对自己没有一丝的责备。 　　The point of the story is this: “Two Gun” Crowleydidn’t blame himself for anything.　　那是罪犯中1种常见的态度？如果你是这样想，再听听下面这些话： 　　Is that an unusual attitude among criminals? If youthink so, listen to this:　　「我将一生中最好的岁月给了人们，使他们获得幸福愉快，过着舒服的日子，而我所得到的只是侮辱，1个遭人搜捕的人。」 　　“I have spent the best years of my life giving peoplethe lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time,and all I get is abuse, the existence of a hunted man.”　　那是「卡邦」所说的话，他是美国的第一号公敌，横行在芝加哥一带，1个最凶恶的匪首。可是，他认为自己是1个有益于群众的人--1个没有受到赞许，而且是个被人误会的人。 　　That’s Al Capone speaking. Yes, America’s most notoriousPublic Enemy- the most sinister gang leader whoever shot up Chicago. Capone didn’t condemn himself.He actually regarded himself as a public benefactor - anunappreciated and misunderstood public benefactor.　　「休士」在纽华给枪弹击倒前，也有这样表示。他接受新闻记者采访时说，他是一位有益于群众的人。其实，他在纽约是个令人发指的罪犯。 　　And so did Dutch Schultz before he crumpled upunder gangster bullets in Newark. Dutch Schultz, one ofNew York’s most notorious rats, said in a newspaper interviewthat he was a public benefactor. And he believedit.　　我曾经和「星星监狱」负责人「华赖．劳斯」，有过一次有趣的通信。他说：「在「星星监狱」 中，很少有罪犯承认自己是坏人，他们的人性就跟你、我一样，他们有这样的见解、解释。他们会这样告诉你，为什么要撬开保险箱，或是接连的放枪伤害人，甚至为他们自己辩护反社会现实的行为，因此坚持不应该把他们囚禁起来。」 　　I have had some interesting correspondence withLewis Lawes, who was warden of New York’s infamousSing Sing prison for many years, on this subject, and hedeclared that “few of the criminals in Sing Sing regardthemselves as bad men. They are just as human as youand I. So they rationalize, they explain. They can tellyou why they had to crack a safe or be quick on thetrigger finger. Most of them attempt by a form of reasoning,fallacious or logical, to justify their antisocial actseven to themselves, consequently stoutly maintainingthat they should never have been imprisoned at all.”　　如果卡邦，「双枪」克劳雷、休士，和在监狱中的暴徒，完全不自责，归咎在自己身上……那你我所接触的人又如何呢？ 　　If Al Capone, “Two Gun” Crowley, Dutch Schultz,and the desperate men and women behind prison wallsdon’t blame themselves for anything - what about thepeople with whom you and I come in contact?　　已故的华纳梅格，有一次这样承认说：「三十年前我就明白，责备人是愚蠢的事，我即使不抱怨上帝没有将智能均匀的分配，可是我对克制自己的缺陷已感到非常吃力了。」 　　John Wanamaker, founder of the stores that bear hisname, once confessed: “I learned thirty years ago that itis foolish to scold. I have enough trouble overcoming myown limitations without fretting over the fact that Godhas not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence.”　　华纳梅格很早就学到这一课，可是我自己在这古老的世界上，盲目地行走了三十多年，然后才豁然会悟……一百次中有九十九次，没有人会为了任何一桩事情来批评他自己，无论错误到如何的程度。 　　Wanamaker learned this lesson early, but I personallyhad to blunder through this old world for a third of acentury before it even began to dawn upon me thatninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticizethemselves for anything, no matter how wrong itmay be.　　批评是没有用的，因它使人增加一层防御，而且竭力的替自己辩护。批评也是危险的，它会伤害了1个人的自尊，和自重的感觉，并激起他的反抗。 　　Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensiveand usually makes him strive to justify himself.Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’sprecious pride, hurts his sense of importance, andarouses resentment.　　德国军队里的士兵们，在发生某一件事后，不准许立即申诉、批评。他需要怀着满肚的怨气睡去，直到他这股怨气消失。如果他就即申诉，会受到处罪。在我们日常生活中，似乎也有这样1个规律的必要--就像嘀咕埋怨的父母，喋喋不休的妻子，斥责怒骂的老板……和那些吹毛求疵，令人讨厌的人。 　　B. F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, provedthrough his experiments that an animal rewarded forgood behavior will learn much more rapidly and retainwhat it learns far more effectively than an animal punishedfor bad behavior. Later studies have shown thatthe same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do notmake lasting changes and often incur resentment.　　从上千页的历史中，你可以找出很多很多，对 「批评」毫无效果的例子。罗斯福和塔夫特总统那著名的争论：．…这争论分裂了共和党，而使威尔逊进了白宫，使他在世界大战中， 　　Hans Selye, another great psychologist, said, “Asmuch as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation,”　　留下了勇敢、光荣的史迹，而且还改变了历史的趋势。 　　The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralizeemployees, family members and friends, and stillnot correct the situation that has been condemned.　　让我们快速的追叙出当时的情形： 　　George B. Johnston of Enid, Oklahoma, is the safetycoordinator for an engineering company, One of his re-sponsibilitiesis to see that employees wear their hardhats whenever they are on the job in the field. He reportedthat whenever he came across workers who werenot wearing hard hats, he would tell them with a lot ofauthority of the regulation and that they must comply.As a result he would get sullen acceptance, and often after he left, the workers would remove the hats.　　一九O八年，罗斯福离开白宫的时候，他使塔夫特做了总统，然后自己去非洲狩猎狮子。当他回来的时候，情形就发生了，他指塔夫特守旧，想要自己连任第三任总统，并且组织了「勃尔摩斯党」。这几乎毁灭了共和党。就在那次选举的时候，塔夫特和共和党，祇获得两州的赞助--那是「夫蒙」和「雨脱」，这是共和党一次最大的失败。 　　He decided to try a different approach. The next timehe found some of the workers not wearing their hard hat,he asked if the hats were uncomfortable or did not fitproperly. Then he reminded the men in a pleasant toneof voice that the hat was designed to protect them frominjury and suggested that it always be worn on the job.The result was increased compliance with the regulationwith no resentment or emotional upset.　　罗斯福责备了塔夫特，可是塔夫特有没有责备了他自己？当然没有。塔夫特两眼含着泪水，说：「我不知道怎么样做，才能和我所已做的不同。」 　　You will find examples of the futility of criticism bristlingon a thousand pages of history, Take, for example,the famous quarrel between Theodore Roosevelt andPresident Taft - a quarrel that split the Republicanparty, put Woodrow Wilson in the White House, andwrote bold, luminous lines across the First World Warand altered the flow of history. Let’s review the factsquickly. When Theodore Roosevelt stepped out of theWhite House in 1908, he supported Taft, who waselected President. Then Theodore Roosevelt went off toAfrica to shoot lions. When he returned, he exploded.He denounced Taft for his conservatism, tried to securethe nomination for a third term himself, formed the BullMoose party, and all but demolished the G.O.P. In theelection that followed, William Howard Taft and the Republicanparty carried only two states - Vermont andUtah. The most disastrous defeat the party had everknown.　　究竟是谁做错了？这情形我不知道，也不需要去关心。不过我所要指出的一点，那是罗斯福所有的批评，并没有使塔夫特自己觉得不对。那祇使塔夫特尽力替自己辩护，眼中含着泪水，反复的说：「我不知道怎么样做，才能和我所已做的不同。」 　　Theodore Roosevelt blamed Taft, but did PresidentTaft blame himself? Of course not, With tears in hiseyes, Taft said: “I don’t see how I could have done anydifferently from what I have.”　　铁泡脱，顿姆的煤油舞弊案，这件事还记得吗？它使舆论忿怒了好几年，震荡了整个国家! 在任何人的记忆里，美国公务生活中，从没有发生过这类的情形。 　　Who was to blame? Roosevelt or Taft? Frankly, I don’tknow, and I don’t care. The point I am trying to make isthat all of Theodore Roosevelt’s criticism didn’t persuadeTaft that he was wrong. It merely made Taft striveto justify himself and to reiterate with tears in his eyes:“I don’t see how I could have done any differently fromwhat I have.”　　这里是这椿舞弊案的事实经过：哈尔信脱．福尔，是哈丁总统任上的内政部长，当时委派他主事政府在「爱尔克」山，和铁泡脱油田保留地出租的事。那块油田，是政府预备未来海军用油的保留地。 　　Or, take the Teapot Dome oil scandal. It kept thenewspapers ringing with indignation in the early 1920s.It rocked the nation! Within the memory of living men, nothing like it had ever happened before in Americanpublic life. Here are the bare facts of the scandal: AlbertB. Fall, secretary of the interior in Harding’s cabinet,was entrusted with the leasing of government oil reservesat Elk Hill and Teapot Dome - oil reserves thathad been set aside for the future use of the Navy. Didsecretary Fall permit competitive bidding? No sir. Hehanded the fat, juicy contract outright to his friend EdwardL. Doheny. And what did Doheny do? He gaveSecretary Fall what he was pleased to call a “loan” ofone hundred thousand dollars. Then, in a high-handedmanner, Secretary Fall ordered United States Marinesinto the district to drive off competitors whose adjacentwells were sapping oil out of the Elk Hill reserves.These competitors, driven off their ground at the ends ofguns and bayonets, rushed into court - and blew the lidoff the Teapot Dome scandal. A stench arose so vile thatit ruined the Harding Administration, nauseated an entirenation, threatened to wreck the Republican party,and put Albert B. Fall behind prison bars.　　福尔是不是公开投标？不，不是那回事，福尔把这份丰厚的合约，干脆给了他的朋友「图海尼」。图海尼又如何呢？他把自己愿意称为「债款」的美金十万元，给了这位福尔部长 　　Fall was condemned viciously - condemned as fewmen in public life have ever been. Did he repent?Never! Years later Herbert Hoover intimated in a publicspeech that President Harding’s death had been due tomental anxiety and worry because a friend had betrayedhim. When Mrs. Fall heard that, she sprang from herchair, she wept, she shook her fists at fate and screamed:"What! Harding betrayed by Fall? No! My husbandnever betrayed anyone. This whole house full of goldwould not tempt my husband to do wrong. He is the onewho has been betrayed and led to the slaughter and crucified.”　　福尔接着用他高压的手段，命令美国海军进驻那地区，把那些竞争者赶走，因为他们的邻近油井，吮吸爱尔克山的财富。保留地上那些竞争者，在枪杆、刀光下给赶走了，可是他们不甘心，跑进法庭，揭发了铁泡脱美金一亿元的舞弊案。这件事发生后，影响之恶劣，几乎毁灭了哈丁总统整个的行政，全国群起哗然，一致痛恨；共和党也几乎垮台，而福尔也被判下狱。 　　There you are; human nature in action, wrongdoers,blaming everybody but themselves. We are all like that.So when you and I are tempted to criticize someonetomorrow, let’s remember Al Capone, “Two Gun”Crowley and Albert Fall. Let’s realize that criticisms arelike homing pigeons. They always return home. Let’srealize that the person we are going to correct and condemnwill probably justify himself or herself, and condemnus in return; or, like the gentle Taft, will say: “Idon’t see how I could have done any differently fromwhat I have.”　　福尔被斥责的焦头烂额--在公务生活中，很少有人被这样的谴责过！他后悔了？不，根本没有！ 　　On the morning of April 15, 1865, Abraham Lincoln lay dying in a hall bedroom of a cheap lodging housedirectly across the street from Ford’s Theater, whereJohn Wilkes Booth had shot him. Lincoln’s long bodylay stretched diagonally across a sagging bed that wastoo short for him. A cheap reproduction of Rosa Bonheur’sfamous painting The Horse Fair hung above thebed, and a dismal gas jet flickered yellow light.　　那是几年后，胡佛在一次公共演讲中暗示，哈丁总统的死，是由于神经的刺激，和心里的忧虑，因为有1个朋友曾经出卖了他。当时福尔的妻子也在座，听到这话后立刻从座椅上跳了起来。她失声大哭，紧紧握着拳头，大声说:「什么……哈丁是给福尔所出卖的？不，我丈夫从未辜负过任何人。即使这间屋子一景堆满了黄金，也不会诱惑我丈夫做坏事。他是被别人所负，而才走向刑场，被钉十字架的。」 　　As Lincoln lay dying, Secretary of War Stanton said,“There lies the most perfect ruler of men that the worldhas ever seen.”　　这情形你可以明白，人类自然的天性，是做错事只会责备别人，而绝不会责备自己，我们每个人都是如此的。所以你我当明天要批评别人的时候，就想想卡邦、克劳雷，和福尔这些人。 　　What was the secret of Lincoln’s success in dealingwith people? I studied the life of Abraham Lincoln forten years and devoted all of three years to writing andrewriting a book entitled Lincoln the Unknown. I believeI have made as detailed and exhaustive a study ofLincoln’s personality and home life as it is possible forany being to make. I made a special study of Lincoln’smethod of dealing with people. Did he indulge in criticism?Oh, yes. As a young man in the Pigeon CreekValley of Indiana, he not only criticized but he wroteletters and poems ridiculing people and dropped theseletters on the country roads where they were sure to befound. One of these letters aroused resentments thatburned for a lifetime.　　批评就像饲养的鸽子，牠们永远会飞回家的。我们需要暸解，我们要矫正或谴责的人，他也会为自己辩护，而反过来谴责我们的。就像温和的塔夫特，他要这样说：「我不知怎么 　　Even after Lincoln had become a practicing lawyer inSpringfield, Illinois, he attacked his opponents openlyin letters published in the newspapers. But he did thisjust once too often.　　样做，才能和我所已做的不同。」 　　In the autumn of 1842 he ridiculed a vain, pugnaciouspolitician by the name of James Shields. Lincoln lamnedhim through an anonymous letter published inSpringfield Journal. The town roared with laughter.Shields, sensitive and proud, boiled with indignation.He found out who wrote the letter, leaped on his horse,started after Lincoln, and challenged him to fight a duel.Lincoln didn’t want to fight. He was opposed to dueling,but he couldn’t get out of it and save his honor. He wasgiven the choice of weapons. Since he had very longarms, he chose cavalry broadswords and took lessons insword fighting from a West Point graduate; and, on theappointed day, he and Shields met on a sandbar in theMississippi River, prepared to fight to the death; but, at the last minute, their seconds interrupted and stoppedthe duel.　　一八六五年四月十五日，周六的早晨，林肯躺在一家简陋的公寓的卧室中。这家公寓就在他遭到狙击的福特戏院对面。林肯瘦长的身体，躺在一张短短而往下沉的床上，靠床的沿壁，挂着一幅朋汉「马群展览会」的复制画，一盏煤气灯散发出幽黯、淡淡的光亮。 　　That was the most lurid personal incident in Lincoln’slife. It taught him an invaluable lesson in the art of dealingwith people. Never again did he write an insultingletter. Never again did he ridicule anyone. And from thattime on, he almost never criticized anybody for anything.　　林肯躺着就将去世的时候，陆军部长斯坦顿说：「躺在那里的，是世界上最完美的元首。」 　　Time after time, during the Civil War, Lincoln put anew general at the head of the Army of the Potomac, andeach one in turn - McClellan, Pope, Burnside, Hooker,Meade - blundered tragically and drove Lincoln to pacingthe floor in despair. Half the nation savagely condemnedthese incompetent generals, but Lincoln, “withmalice toward none, with charity for all,” held his peace.One of his favorite quotations was “Judge not, that ye benot judged.”　　林肯待人成功的秘诀是什么？我曾费了十年左右的时间，研究林肯的一生，同时我整整费了三年的时间，撰着了一部有关他的书，我替这部书题名叫「人们对林肯尚未清楚的一面」。 　　And when Mrs. Lincoln and others spoke harshly ofthe southern people, Lincoln replied: “Don’t criticizethem; they are just what we would be under similarcircumstances.”　　我相信我详尽的研究有关于林肯的人格，和他的家庭生活，已到任何人所能做到的极限。我又找出有关于林肯待人的方法，作特殊的研究。林肯是否有放任批评过人？是的，当他年轻时候，在印第安纳州的鸽溪谷；他不但批评，且还写信作诗去讥笑人，他把写好的束西，扔到一定会给人捡到的街路上，其中有一封信，引起人对他终身的恶感。 　　Yet if any man ever had occasion to criticize, surely itwas Lincoln. Let’s take just one illustration:　　林肯在伊利诺斯州的春田镇，挂牌做了律师后，他都还在报纸上发表他的文稿，公开攻击敌对他的人，但是像这样的事他只做了一次。 　　The Battle of Gettysburg was fought during the firstthree days of July 1863. During the night of July 4, Leebegan to retreat southward while storm clouds delugedthe country with rain. When Lee reached the Potomacwith his defeated army, he found a swollen, impassableriver in front of him, and a victorious Union Army behindhim. Lee was in a trap. He couldn’t escape. Lincolnsaw that. Here was a golden, heaven-sent opportunity-the opportunity to capture Lee’s army and end the warimmediately. So, with a surge of high hope, Lincoln orderedMeade not to call a council of war but to attackLee immediately. Lincoln telegraphed his orders andthen sent a special messenger to Meade demanding immediateaction.　　一八四二年秋季，林肯讥笑1个自大好斗的爱尔兰政客，这人叫「西尔滋」。林肯在春田的报上，刊登出一封匿名的信讽刺他，使全镇的人轰然大笑。西尔滋平时敏感而自豪，这件事激起他心头盛怒。当他查出是谁写这封倍时，跳上马，立即去找林肯，要和他作一次决斗。 　　And what did General Meade do? He did the veryopposite of what he was told to do. He called a councilof war in direct violation of Linco[www.61k.com)ln’s orders. He hesitated.He procrastinated. He telegraphed all manner of excuses. He refused point-blank to attack Lee. Finallythe waters receded and Lee escaped over the Potomacwith his forces.　　林肯平时不愿意打架，反对决斗，可是为了顾到自己面子而不能避免下来。他的对手西尔滋让他自己选用武器。林肯两条手臂特别长，就选用了马队用的大刀，他同一位西点军官学校毕业生学习刀战。到了指定的日期，他和西尔滋在密士失必河的河滩上，准备一战生死，就在最后一分钟，他们两方面的助斗者，才阻止了这项决斗。 　　Lincoln was furious, “ What does this mean?” Lincolncried to his son Robert. “Great God! What does thismean? We had them within our grasp, and had only tostretch forth our hands and they were ours; yet nothingthat I could say or do could make the army move. Underthe circumstances, almost any general could have defeatedLee. If I had gone up there, I could have whippedhim myself.”　　那次对林肯来讲，是桩最惊人、可怖的事。可是这件事在林肯待人的艺术上，却给了他1个极宝贵的教训。他、永远不再写凌辱人的信，、永远不再讥笑人家。从那时候开始，他几乎从不为任何事而批评任何人。 　　In bitter disappointment, Lincoln sat down and wroteMeade this letter. And remember, at this period of hislife Lincoln was extremely conservative and restrainedin his phraseology. So this letter coming from Lincoln in1863 was tantamount to the severest rebuke.　　美国内战的时候，林肯屡次委派新将领，统率「波托麦克」军队，可是1个1个都遭到沉痛的惨败……使林肯怀着失望而沉重的心情，单独1个人在屋子里踱步。全国几乎有半数的人，哗然指责这些不能胜任的将领，可是林肯保持着他平和的态度。他最喜欢的一句格言，那是--「不要评议人，免得为人所评议」。 　　My dear General, I do not believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortuneinvolved in Lee’s escape. He was within our easygrasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connectionWith our other late successes, have ended the war. As it is,the war will be prolonged indefinitely. If you could notsafely attack Lee last Monday, how can you possibly do sosouth of the river, when you can take with you very few-no more than two-thirds of the force you then had in hand?It would be unreasonable to expect and I do not expect thatyou can now effect much. Your golden opportunity is gone,and I am distressed immeasurably because of it.　　当林肯的妻子和有些人，刻薄的谈论南方人时，林肯总是这样回答：「不要批评他们，我们在相同的情形下，也会像他们一样。」 　　What do you suppose Meade did when he read theletter?　　可是，如果有人有机会批评的话，那就是林肯了，我们看下面这个例证： 　　Meade never saw that letter. Lincoln never mailed it.It was found among his papers after his death.　　七月四日的晚上，南方「李」将军开始向南边撤退。当时全国雨水泛滥成灾，那时「李」带领败军到达波托麦克时，看到前面河水暴涨，使他们无法过去，而胜利的联军就在后面。「李」和他的军队，进退维谷，处于围困中。 　　My guess is - and this is only a guess - that after writingthat letter, Lincoln looked out of the window andsaid to himself, “Just a minute. Maybe I ought not to beso hasty. It is easy enough for me to sit here in the quietof the White House and order Meade to attack; but if Ihad been up at Gettysburg, and if I had seen as muchblood as Meade has seen during the last week, and if my ears had been pierced with the screams and shrieks ofthe wounded and dying, maybe I wouldn’t be so anxiousto attack either. If I had Meade’s timid temperament,perhaps I would have done just what he had done. Anyhow,it is water under the bridge now. If I send thisletter, it will relieve my feelings, but it will make Meadetry to justify himself. It will make him condemn me. Itwill arouse hard feelings, impair all his further usefulnessas a commander, and perhaps force him to resignfrom the army.”　　林肯知道这正是个极好的机会，把「李」的军队俘虏，立就可以以结束这场战争。林肯满怀着希望，他命令弥特，不必召开军事会议，而立即袭进「李」军。林肯先用电报发出命令，然后派出特使要弥特就即采取行动。 　　So, as I have already said, Lincoln put the letter aside,for he had learned by bitter experience that sharp criticismsand rebukes almost invariably end in futility.　　可是这位弥特将军，又如何处理呢？弥特所采取的行动，却跟林肯的命令相反。他召开了1个军事会议，违反了林肯的命令，还迟疑不决的延宕下去。弥特用了各种借口覆电，实际上是拒绝进袭「李」军。最后河水降退，「李」和他的军队就这样逃过了波托麦克。 　　Theodore Roosevelt said that when he, as President,was confronted with a perplexing problem, he used tolean back and look up at a large painting of Lincolnwhich hung above his desk in the White House and askhimself, “What would Lincoln do if he were in myshoes? How would he solve this problem?”　　「弥特这样做是什么用意？」林肯知道这件事后，震怒至极。林肯向他儿子劳白脱大声说：「 老天爷，这是什么意思……？「李」 军已在我们掌握中了，祗要一伸手，他们就是我们的了……在那种情形下，任可将领都能带兵把「李」 打败，如果我自己去己经把他捉住了。」 　　The next time we are tempted to admonish somebody,/let’s pull a five-dollar bill out of our pocket, look at Lincoln’spicture on the bill, and ask. “How would Lincolnhandle this problem if he had it?”　　在沉痛失望之下，林肯写了封信给弥特！林肯在他一生的这段时间中，他是极端的保守，用字非常拘谨的，所以在一八六三年里头，这封信出自林肯手笔，该是最严厉的斥责了。林肯这封信的内容，是这样的-- 　　Mark Twain lost his temper occasionally and wroteletters that turned the Paper brown. For example, heonce wrote to a man who had aroused his ire: “The thingfor you is a burial permit. You have only to speak and Iwill see that you get it.” On another occasion he wroteto an editor about a proofreader’s attempts to “improvemy spelling and punctuation.” He ordered: “Set thematter according to my copy hereafter and see that theproofreader retains his suggestions in the mush of hisdecayed brain.”　　亲爱的将军： 　　The writing of these stinging letters made Mark Twainfeel better. They allowed him to blow off steam, and theletters didn’t do any real harm, because Mark’s wifesecretly lifted them out of the mail. They were neversent.　　我不相信你能领会出，由于「李」的脱走，所引起的不幸事件，和重大的关系。他已是在我们轻易的掌握中，如果将他捕获，再加上最近我们其它地方的胜利，立就可以以结束这场战争。 　　Do you know someone you would like to change andregulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin on yourself? From a purelyselfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable thantrying to improve others - yes, and a lot less dangerous.“Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’sroof,” said Confucius, “when your own doorstep is unclean.”　　可是照现在的情形来推断，战事将会无限期的延长下去。上周一你不能顺利的袭击「李」军，你又如何能再向他袭击……我不期望你现在会有多大的成功，因为你已让黄金般代 　　When I was still young and trying hard to impresspeople, I wrote a foolish letter to Richard HardingDavis, an author who once loomed large on the literaryhorizon of America. I was preparing a magazine articleabout authors, and I asked Davis to tell me about hismethod of work. A few weeks earlier, I had received aletter from someone with this notation at the bottom:“Dictated but not read.” I was quite impressed. I feltthat the writer must be very big and busy and important.I wasn’t the slightest bit busy, but I was eager to makean impression on Richard Harding Davis, so I ended myshort note with the words: “Dictated but not read.”　　价的机会消失掉了，这使我感到无限沉痛。 　　He never troubled to answer the letter. He simplyreturned it to me with this scribbled across the bottom:“Your bad manners are exceeded only by your bad manners.”True, I had blundered, and perhaps I deservedthis rebuke. But, being human, I resented it. I resentedit so sharply that when I read of the death of RichardHarding Davis ten years later, the one thought that stillpersisted in my mind - I am ashamed to admit - was thehurt he had given me.　　据你的猜想，当弥特看到这封信后，他将会如何呢？ 　　If you and I want to stir up a resentment tomorrowthat may rankle across the decades and endure untildeath, just let us indulge in a little stinging criticism-no matter how certain we are that it is justified.　　可是弥特从没有看到那封信，原因是林肯并没有把这封信寄出去。这封信是在林肯去世后，从他文件中发现的。 　　When dealing with people, let us remember we arenot dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing withcreatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudicesand motivated by pride and vanity.　　我有这样的想法--这只是我的猜想。林肯写了这封信后，望着窗外喃喃自语： 　　Bitter criticism caused the sensitive Thomas Hardy,one of the finest novelists ever to enrich English literature,to give up forever the writing of fiction. Criticismdrove Thomas Chatterton, the English poet, to suicide.　　「慢着，或许我不能这样匆忙，我坐在这宁静的白宫里，命令弥特进攻，那是一桩很轻而易举的事，可是如果我到了吉地司伯，我也看到弥特上星期所看到的那么多血，我的耳朵也听到死伤者的呼叫、呻吟，也许我也不会急于要向「李」军进攻……如果我也有跟弥特一样懦弱的个性，或许我所做的，会跟他做的完全一样。 　　Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became sodiplomatic, so adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of hissuccess? “I will speak ill of no man,” he said, " . . andspeak all the good I know of everybody.”　　现在木已成舟，无法挽回了，如果我发出这封信，固然解除了我心一果的不愉快，可是弥特也会替他自己辩护。在那种情形下，他会谴责我，引起他对我的恶感，而且会损伤他以后做司令官的效果，甚至还会逼他辞去军队的职司。」 　　Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - andmost fools do.　　有我想象中那回事后，林肯没有把信发出，就放在一边了。因为林肯从苦痛的经验中知道，尖锐的批评、斥责，、永远不会有效果的。 　　But it takes character and self-control to be under-standingand forgiving.　　罗斯福总统曾经有这样说过，当他职任总统，遇到难以解决的问题时，他会把座椅往后面一靠，仰起头，朝着写字台壁上，那幅很大的林肯画像看去。他这样问自己：「如果林肯处在我眼前这种困难下，他将会如何？他将如何去解决这个问题．．」 　　“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “bythe way he treats little men.”　　以后我们如果想要批评人家时，让我们从口袋拿出一张五元的钞票来，看看钞票上林肯的像，这样的问自己：「如果林肯遭遇到这类的事，他将会如何的去处置呢？」 　　Bob Hoover, a famous test pilot and frequent per-formerat air shows, was returning to his home in LosAngeles from an air show in San Diego. As described inthe magazine Flight Operations, at three hundred feetin the air, both engines suddenly stopped. By deft maneuveringhe managed to land the plane, but it wasbadly damaged although nobody was hurt.　　你所认识的人，你愿意他改变、调整，或是进步吗？是的，那是最好不过的。可是为什么不从你自己先开始呢？从自私的立场来说，从自己开始要比改进别人，获益得多。 　　Hoover’s first act after the emergency landing was toinspect the airplane’s fuel. Just as he suspected, theWorld War II propeller plane he had been flying hadbeen fueled with jet fuel rather than gasoline.　　「当1个人的争论、激辩起于自己时，」鲍宁这样说：「他在若干方面已不是寻常的了。」 　　Upon returning to the airport, he asked to see the mechanicwho had serviced his airplane. The young manwas sick with the agony of his mistake. Tears streameddown his face as Hoover approached. He had just causedthe loss of a very expensive plane and could have causedthe loss of three lives as well.　　在我年轻的时候，就很想让人家知道我，我曾写过一封信，给美国文坛上一位极负声誉的作家，他叫「台维斯」，那时我准备给一家杂志社，写些有关文坛作家的文章，所以我请台维斯告诉我，有关他写作的方法。 　　You can imagine Hoover’s anger. One could anticipatethe tongue-lashing that this proud and precise pilotwould unleash for that carelessness. But Hoover didn’tscold the mechanic; he didn’t even criticize him. Instead,he put his big arm around the man’s shoulder andsaid, “To show you I’m sure that you’ll never do thisagain, I want you to service my F-51 tomorrow.”　　数星期后，我有接到一封信，信上附注着这一句：「信系口述，未经重读」。看到这两句话后，很引起我的注意，相信写这信的人，一定是位事务繁忙的大人物，而我却一点也不忙。可是我急于引起这位大作家台维斯的注意，我在写了一封简短的回信后，后面也加上这样几句：「信系口述，未经重读。」 　　Often parents are tempted to criticize their children.You would expect me to say “don’t.” But I will not, I ammerely going to say, “Before you criticize them, readone of the classics of American journalism, ‘Father Forgets.’ ”It originally appeared as an editorial in the People's　　台维斯不屑再给我回信，祇是把我那封信退了回来，可是下面潦草的写着几个字：「你态度之不恭无以复加。」 Home Journnl. We are reprinting it here with theauthor’s permission, as condensed in the Reader’s Digest:　　是的，我做错了，或许我应该得到这样的斥责。可是，人性使然，这使我深深的痛恨，对他怀着极度的愤恨。甚至十年后．我知道台维斯去世的消息时，我心里还深深恨他。而我却羞于承认，就是他给了我的伤痕。 　　“Father Forgets” is one of those little pieces which-dashed of in a moment of sincere feeling - strikes anechoing chord in so many readers as to become a perenialreprint favorite. Since its first appearance, “FatherForgets" has been reproduced, writes the author,W, Livingston Larned, “in hundreds of magazines andhouse organs, and in newspapers the country over. It hasbeen reprinted almost as extensively in many foreignlanguages. I have given personal permission to thousandswho wished to read it from school, church, andlecture platforms. It has been ‘on the air’ on countlessoccasions and programs. Oddly enough, college periodicalshave used it, and high-school magazines. Sometimesa little piece seems mysteriously to ‘click.’ Thisone certainly did.”　　如果你明天要激起一股愤恨，使人痛恨你十年，一直到死，我们可以放任一些对人具有 　　FATHER FORGETSW. Livingston Larned　　刺激性的批评。 　　Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one littlepaw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickilywet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your roomalone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paperin the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me.Guiltily I came to your bedside.　　当我们要应付1个人的时候，应该记住，我们不是应付理论的动物，而是在应付感情的动物。 　　There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been crossto you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school becauseyou gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I tookyou to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrilywhen you threw some of your things on the floor.　　而且批评是1种危险的导火线--1种能使自尊的火药库爆炸的导火线，这种爆炸，有时会置人于死池。就有这样的例子：胡特将军受到人们的批评，又不被允许带兵去法国，对他自尊的打击，几乎缩短了他的寿命。 　　At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. Yougulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table.You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as youstarted off to play and I made for my train, you turnedand waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” andI frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shouldersback!”　　苛刻的批评，曾使敏锐的哈代……他是一位英国文坛上最好的小说家……使他、永远放弃执笔写小说的勇气。 　　Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As Icame up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playingmarbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me tothe house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son,from a father!　　佛籣克林在年轻的时候，并不伶俐，可是后来成为极有手腕，和处世待人极有技巧的人，甚至担任过美国驻法的大使。他成功的秘诀，是：「我不说任何人的不好！」他又这样说：「而说我所知道的每1个人的好处！」 　　Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library,how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look inyour eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient atthe interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it youwant?” I snapped.　　任何1个愚蠢的人，都会批评人，斥责人，和抱怨人同时，也是绝大部份愚蠢的人才这样做的。 　　You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuousplunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissedme, and your small arms tightened with an affection thatGod had set blooming in your heart and which even neglectcould not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up thestairs.　　但若要宽恕，和了解，那就需在于人格、克己上下功夫了。 　　Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slippedfrom my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me.What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault,of reprimanding - this was my reward to you for being aboy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expectedtoo much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick ofmy own years.　　卡莱尔曾经这样说过：「要显示1个伟大人物的伟大之处，那就要看他如何对待1个卑微的人。」 　　And there was so much that was good and fine and true inyour character. The little heart of you was as big as thedawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by yourspontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night.Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bed-sidein the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!　　正如强森博士所说的：「上帝在末日之前，还不打算审判人！」 　　It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understandthese things if I told them to you during your wakinghours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chumwith you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when youlaugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. Iwill keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing but aboy - a little boy!”　　你我又为什么要批评人呢？ 不要批评，责怪或抱怨。　　I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I seeyou now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see thatyou are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’sarms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much,too much.

二 : 如欲采蜜，勿蹴蜂房

我有一个淡泊宁静的老爸，于是我从小就小大人模样了，喜欢碎碎念、喜欢操心很多事。我很喜欢批评我的老爸，这也导致我性格上的缺点，遇上错的事就爱批评。可是，当我们要应付一个人的时候，应该记住，我们不是应付理论的动物，而是在应付感性的动物。批评不一定会让人改正，但一定会给人留下［www.61k.com]伤痛。。。

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