四 : 关于写personal statement的一点个人看法79

关于Personal Statement的一点个人看法

By 吕朝阳Lewis

申请基本完成后，本来准备写点申请总结之类的，但回想一下也没有什么太多的亮点。直到最近帮一些申请美国的同学看了一下ps，觉得其实很多人对ps的理解限于网上的只言片语，做起来很用心，但看起来效果并不好。所以对于ps，暂且写一点个人看法，希望对以后的同学有点帮助。

ps该写什么，这个每个学校网站上都有粗略介绍到，除了个别学校诸如TU Delft要求申请MSc的写2000—3000字，大多数都在500—1000之间。在文章中概括到个人研究兴趣，经历，学习兴趣，性格特点等等（具体内容可以参考北大未名的“飞跃手册”，罗列了各大学ps的要求）。

ps字，不会像做GRE阅读一样浏览过去，二、更高的，ps循这两个原则。

1. 就是单词和句式。很多人喜欢用GRE单词来写ps以体现语言好，其实完全没必要。你的科研论文用不到，你的老板甚至看不懂，况且你也不一定用的准确。文章易于理解阅读，cogent才是最重要。

2. 文字篇幅应该简洁。我看过的优秀的ps论文篇幅都在600字左右，这个也是我认为最佳的篇幅。如果用12磅字体普通行距的话，一页半不到。不会在阅读量上给读者一种畏惧感。自己也拿到过别的同学的ps，满满两页的ps会让人不愿意去细读。一位去普度phd的师兄说到，他们老板告诉他并没有细看的他的ps，他的也是典型的两满页，我认为可能和篇幅有关，但也并不完全确定。有很多同学（包括我），都认为经历体会太多，文字无法压缩。事实上，我的第一版ps达到了1100字，大修小改了十余遍之后，成稿为643字。至于如何压缩，后文再叙述。

3. 介绍内容应该避免专业内容（除非你很确定，阅读者也就是你未来老板，和你所描述的内容契合的完美无缺）。个人认为过多的专业内容是很多申请phd，或者本科研究生阶段做过一些研究的同学写ps的通病。不要认为你如果把项目名称、获奖名称写的不清楚，别人会质疑真实性，因为你有CV；也不要认为写这些东西能让人觉得你很61阅读站（不是打广告），www.essayedge.com。他的几位编辑我看了大多在国外招办工作过的，我提的修改疑惑和问题也给我解释的很清楚。但费用是根据字数算的，所以我建议写完接近定稿之后再交给他们去解决一些你解决不了的疑惑，还有就是修改语言（native和literature一些）。你自己写时，也就没必要堆各种GRE词汇。他们的修改很认真，几乎每一句都给改了，48个小时交付，时间也很准时。建议大家一试。

3. 描述性格特征和兴趣之类抽象特点的时候，不要直接写你很hardworking，leadership很强，而是要通过各种事实来间接反映，所有的都尽量这样做到，这类似一种论证方法，这样才能有说服力。

4. 关于准备多少份ps的问题，一个学校一份最好，其实没必要，也没有精力。但一个兴趣大方向一定是一份。比如你不能把申生物计算机的方向和人工智能的方向用一份。为什么？因为你几乎不可能做到你的interest这条主线能很好的扣合这些不同的方向。小方向可做微调即可。对于每个学校来说，就在最后把提到学校的部分跟换一下名字即可，我觉得影响不大。

5. 我提供我自己的一条主线，不一定最好，可以适当参考一下，或者你完全可以自己构思，因为很多很好的文章都给人一种耳目一新的感觉：

第一部分，用故事引出兴趣，说一下兴趣的产生，发展，如果让你选在目前要申请的方向。（中间建议描述方向时可以夹杂一些个人对方向行业或者研究对象的简介，不管对与否，至少不要让人感觉你只是在吹嘘而没有做过调研）

第二部分，写一下自己基础学科，成绩等上面为兴趣方向如何做的准备。 第三四段，写一下自己如何根据兴趣选择参加了一些项目，描述你的项目经历，重在收获和突出品质。

第五部分，目前选择具体方向和研究兴趣，当然要扣合自己兴趣。

第六部分，夸一下对方学校（意思在于为什么选他而不是其他学校），收尾。

此文只是一点个人体会，可能不同人见解也不一样，也不完全对，你若觉得有用，适当参考即可。

五 : 如何写Personal Statement(个人陈述)

一步步教你怎么写PS（一）

PS是Personal Statement的简称，是我们申请美国研究生院的重要材料之一。（www.61k.com）一份完美的PS有可能使你申请成功的机会大大增加，同时PS也是很好的认识你自己的过程。通过写PS，你将更了解你自己，清楚自己想要什么样的生活，理清自己为什么要去美国，以后将要成为什么样的人。这对申请者来说至关重要，对admission officer来说，PS是你唯一有机会向他们展示一个鲜活的你的材料。成绩单是死的，GRE和TOEFL分数是死的，而他们要找的是一个活生生的人，是一个有血有肉有思想的人，他们在众多的申请者中寻找最适合他们的那一位，你如何认识你自己？你的motivation来自哪里？你将来如何打算？这些东西都可以帮助他们走进你，了解你，认识你，然后决定是不是接受你。U of Washington的admission officer指出，他们会把申请者分成四等： "Admit with guaranteed funding, Admit with potential funding, Tabled (a sort of admissions purgatory), and Reject." It is in the case of "Tabled" and "Admit with potential funding" applications, the admissions officer reports, that the personal statement can make a

real difference: "If there is a good match between the applicant's research interests and the particular strengths of the school, this can bump them up a level or two in the hierarchy of admission."

如何写PS？从PS教程中，我将总结出写PS的各项注意点，一步步教你怎么写PS，希望对大家有所帮助。

Preparation

PS的精髓在于将自己的motivation和Objective充分展现出来，它应该是personaland analytical, 任何generalization都需要避免，PS的关键在于用specific, personal details来展现你的个人魅力和强烈的motivation。

写PS时，要尽量完全的真诚。这是诉说一个你自己的故事，你不是在设法创造一个理想的申请者，而是just be yourself。任何的伪造都是很容易被识破的，只有完全敞开的真诚，才能真正打动admission officer，也才能真正的认识你自己，才能真正让你选择最适合你的graduate program。

用specific details来展现你的motivation很重要。这些specific details可以包括研究和工作经历、课程、你跟你所感兴趣的领域的人的交流、你读的书、你参加的学术报告会，以及任何可以展现你为何选择并适合这个研究领域的原因。

你需要明确你未来的方向，至少为自己未来5~10年的事业做一个规划，而这个规划应该很适合你所申请的这个graduate program，那也正是你选择这个领域的原因。

描述为什么这个graduate program适合你，不要用一些空洞的赞美性的语言，一定要be specific, be analytical。

一定不要出现一些粗心的错误，那只能证明你不够认真对待。

personal statement 如何写Personal Statement(个人陈述)

避免说一些空洞无意义的套话，避免陈词滥调。［www.61k.com]这里可以举个例子。

修改前：In the first project Imanaged, I learned many valuable lessons about the importance of teamwork.

修改后：In the first project Imanaged, I made an effort to incorporate all my colleagues as equal members ofa team, soliciting their feedback and deferring to their expertise as needed.

修改前的这句话很空洞的讲team work，没有任何details；修改后的话就展开讲了我是怎么展现teamwork的。在写PS的时候一定要注意展开这些细节。最好的方法就是以自己的亲身经历开始，让那些展现你的quality和personality的东西自然流露出来，你的那些品质不需要总结性的generalities, 人们会从你对自己经历的specific details的描述判断出你有哪些quality。

不要企图把你所有的经历都写进PS里，PS追求的不是广度，而是深度。好的PS是深入挖掘一个或两个主题、时间或观点的细节。

注意避免敏感话题，因为你不知道admission officer的个人偏见。

不要用冗余的长句。短句更加有力，因为他们更加direct和to the point。举例：

修改前："My recognitionof the fact that the project was finally over was a deeply satisfying momentthat will forever linger in my memory."

修改后："Completing theproject at last gave me an enduring sense of fulfillment."

像the fact that这种词就是完全冗余的。

Brainstorming

1. Performa self-inventory of Your Unique Experiences, Major Influences, and Abilities. Long and short term goals

1. 这所学校为什么吸引你

2. 你对哪个faculty的研究最感兴趣？你最想跟谁一起工作？

3. 你具体想从你所申请的program中获得什么？

4. 你的事业抱负是什么？这个graduate program对你实现事业理想有什么帮助?

5. 你理想的工作的是什么？未来的5~10年甚至20、30年，你想成为一个什么样的人？

Skills and Characteristics

6. 你有哪些品质有助于你在该领域获得成功？You need to make strong connections between your experiences and the qualities you wish to convey.

这里列举一些admission officer认为很重要的qualities：

Seriousness of Purpose (to pursue graduate education)

? Intellectual Ability (to handle graduate study)

? Intellectual Curiosity (about the field you wish to enter)

? Creativity (as reflected in the way your mind addresses issues in the field of your choice) ? Open-Mindedness (to ideas, people, and circumstances different from your own)

? Maturity (as demonstrated by being responsible and trustworthy)

? Concern for Others (either by devoting time to social service activities such as tutoring or by being considerate and empathetic to others' feelings; the latter is more difficult to pull off in an application essay)

personal statement 如何写Personal Statement(个人陈述)

Initiative (as in the ability to start a project or take on a responsibility on your own) ? Enthusiasm (as demonstrated by your eagerness to engage in activities)

? Confidence (in your ability to handle difficult situations and novel challenges)

? Being Organized (as in the ability to stay on top of multiple tasks)

? Sense of Humor (as in your ability to find humor in difficult situations; in many ways this is an index of maturity)

? Diligence/Persistence (as demonstrated by your ability to stay with a task until you complete it; this is particularly relevant for programs requiring a dissertation)

? Leadership (as shown in your ability to inspire others to work together to reach a mutual goal) ? Risk Taking (as shown in your ability to deal with uncertainty in order to reach your goal) ? Insight (as reflected in your ability to use introspection to understand aspects of yourself, such as your preferences and your motivations)

? Optimism (as reflected in your ability to find positive aspects in seemingly negative situations) ? Compromise (as in your ability to be flexible in negotiating with others; at a more abstract level this can mean the ability to reconcile ideological opposites or dialectical pairs among others or within yourself)

? Overcoming Adversity (as demonstrated by your resourcefulness in dealing with serious problems such as divorce, death, illness, etc.)

7. 你所拥有的skills（比如communication,leadership, analytical)，注意用specific details来展示你的这些skills

8. 你比其他申请者的优势在哪里？

9. 你可以贡献给你所申请的学校哪些东西？（给你的fellow students，你的faculty,你的broader community)

10. 你认为你为什么会在这个program的申请中胜出？

11.让admission officers对你感兴趣的最compelling的原因是什么？

Background/Accomplishments: Personal

12. What's special, unique, distinctive, or impressive about you or your life story? What details of your life (personal or family problems/history, any genuinely notable accomplishments, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants? 哪些人影响了你的选择？

13. Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (e.g., economic, familial, physical) in your life? 你所必须克服的困难？

14. Have you borne significant care-giving responsibilities for family members? For an ailing parent, a sibling, a disabled or aging relative, a child? How has this impacted your academics? Your professional life? Your goals and values? 你从小就需要照顾什么人吗？囧，这点对独生子女不利哎。（www.61k.com］。。

15. (If you live in U.S. but are not a native-born American) How did you deal with the challenges of moving to the U.S. from your home? Did you experience culture shock? How did you adapt? What was most difficult for you? What aspects of your new home did you enjoy the most? 在美国如何适应的问题，看来美国交流经历还在这个personal方面可以起到一些作用~

16. If work experiences have consumed significant periods of time during your college years, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has the work contributed to your personal growth?

personal statement 如何写Personal Statement(个人陈述)

Background/Accomplishments: Academic

17. When did you originally become interested in this field? What have you since learned about it-and about yourself-that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained? 你如何对这个领域感兴趣的？

18. How have you learned about this field-through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations with people already in the field?

19. Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that you should explain?

20. Can you recall a specific incident that convinced you that you had chosen the right career path?用一个具体的事例来证明你为何选择了正确的道路

2. Consult Friends, Relatives, Colleagues, or Professors for Ideas

别人往往可以看到你性格特征中你自己没有注意到的地方，所以向别人请教可以帮助你更好地了解自己。[www.61k.com］不妨来做一个调查问卷，向了解你的请教~

I am applying to _________ and must prepare a personal statement as a part of that process. I want to be sure to include all relevant data about myself and my background, so I am soliciting information from various individuals who know me and whose judgment I value. Thank you for your help.

1. What do you think is most important for the admissions committee to know about me?

2. What do you regard as most unusual, distinctive, unique, and/or impressive about me (based on our association)?

3. Are you aware of any events or experiences in my background that might be of particular interest to those considering my application to graduate school?

4. Are there any special qualities or skills that I possess that tend to make you think I would be successful in graduate school and in the field to which I aspire to become a part?

一步步教你怎么写PS（二）

Topic Selection

上边我们讲了通过brainstorming的方式来挖掘自己，现在你手上应该有一大把的经历想要来诉说。你可以深入描述一段经历，也可以写多个经历，但是写的事情越多，每件事情可能就不能做到非常深入了。下面给出一些指导来帮助你narrow down your topic.

Finding the pattern that connects

一定要寻找那些跟你申请的program相关的经历

Conveying something meaningful

一定要找到一个能展现你独一无二personality的经历

Painting a complete portrait

一定要全面展现出你的能力，如果你只说自己的一段经历，这段经历应该能全面展现你的各方面能力；如果你要说自己的多种经历，这些经历之间应该互为补充。

Standing out

personal statement 如何写Personal Statement(个人陈述)

一定要突出的unique的地方，如果你觉得实在很难做到unique，那就be more specific and personal.

Keeping your readers interest

从别人的角度来思考，如果你是读者，你读这篇文章的时候会想要了解更多吗？

Staying grounded in detail

一定要用事实说话，一切言语都要建立在事实证据的基础之上。［www.61k.com］

Answering the question

每个学校针对PS提的问题可能不一样，一定要保证你选的topic能回答大部分学校的大部分问题，PS也要根据学校的问题进行适当调整。

What to avoid 一下几点千万要避免！

Resorting to gimmicks 不要用那些小花招，小伎俩，咱还是应该严肃点

Focusing on negative 应该重点突出你的positive attribute

Repeating information that's listed elsewhere in the application 千万别重复那些你在简历里已经展现出来的东西，需要展现你更加personal的东西

Being too controversial

Seeking pity

You can describe misfortunes or a disadvantaged background, but do not use them as an excuse for bad performances or to seek pity. Doing so not only could sound manipulative, but also means that you haven't emphasized your strengths sufficiently. Thus, as in the case of weaknesses, you should bring up obstacles in your past only to show how you have overcome them.

想要通过PS来解释自己某方面不足的同学请特别注意上面第二点和第五点。注意表现你positive的一面，表现你如何克服困难的一面，少些negative的东西，也不要刻意去解释什么。

一步步教你怎么写PS（三）

Graduate statement themes:

你必须搞清楚的几个问题：

? Why have I chosen to attend graduate school in this specific field, and why did I choose to apply to this particular school's program?

? What are my qualifications for admission?

? What is special, unique, or impressive about my life story?

The future over the past

admission officer想要从PS看三点：你来自哪里?你想从我们的program中得到什么？你未来的打算是什么？

你的PS应该重在未来的职业规划，而不是重复过去的荣耀。如果你过去的经历确实很出彩，一定要多一些分析，不要罗列你的成绩

Why Graduate School?

Early exposure to your field: 避免用一些陈词滥调，比如“I have always wanted to..."

Do not rely solely on your initial reason and forget to justify your choice with more recent

personal statement 如何写Personal Statement(个人陈述)

experiences.

讲一些你小时候的事情可能可以吸引读者，一些小时候的兴趣爱好如何发展成为学术喜好的呢？

Goals 明确自己未来的职业发展目标。［www.61k.com]很多人可能会说自己会进入学术界，那么为了使你的goals显得与众不同一些，你必须突出自己特殊的research interest; 对于想要到学术之外的领域发展的人，必须identify a specific issue and explain the origin and evolution of your interest. Research interests 有些学校会让你写个statement of purpose来表明你的研究兴趣，你可以认为你的读者是一个faculty，但是一个不是专家的人应该也能津津有味地看下去

Addressing the school（在我们写每一个学校的PS的时候，都要做大量的搜索工作！）

You should do this research for your own sake, of course, but discussing your discoveries in your personal statement can help convince the admissions committee that you are a good fit. Avoid mistakes like discussing the school's rank or prestige, or simply offering generic praise. Instead,mention faculty members by name and indicate some knowledge of their work. Discuss your interest in becoming involved in a particular student organization or activity. Consider contacting faculty members first and discussing their current research projects and your interest in studying under them. Then refer to these contacts in your essay.(套磁的作用就出来了哦！） You may also want to discuss your interest in becoming involved in a particular student organization or activity.

mentioning several professors is not as effective as describing one in further depth

Why qualified?

Details about the process are paramount. What we mean by the "process" is the path to achievement. The rest of the application has already summarized your accomplishments and activities. Show the reader what you did in concrete terms, and most importantly, highlight your active roles.

research experience

Remember to keep the discussion personal. Do not become bogged down in minute details and jargon. Ultimately, the focus of the story should remain on you and your growth or success. field experience

unrelated work experience

Extracurricular Activities

Why Unique

这里给大家举几个unique的例子：

This applicant starts by noting the diversity of his ethnic and religious background. When mentioning such points, you should not assume that such diversity is an end in itself. Rather, you should show how your background and culture have shaped your perspective and given you something unique to offer. This applicant does a good job of noting how Zoroastrianism has given him guiding principles, but he never follows through to discuss concrete examples.This essay would have benefited from more details to show his diversity in more tangible terms.

personal statement 如何写Personal Statement(个人陈述)

This applicant's story is fascinating, at times harrowing, and ultimately triumphant. From committed social activism to drug and alcohol addiction to a reengagement with the world, the author pulls no punches in telling his unique tale. While he does not whitewash his experience with drugs and alcohol, notice how he situates it in a larger context, showing both how it made him oblivious to the things he really cared about (Third World injustices) and how his reintroduction to those things helped him pull himself out of his downward spiral. In doing so, he demonstrates both a strong social conscience and a dedication to his beliefs. Additionally, his story makes him very hard for an admissions committee to forget. Just be careful that any discussion of past mistakes or difficulties leads to an indubitably positive conclusion.

This applicant shows that you do not need to be a true one-of-a-kind to demonstrate uniqueness in the admissions process. In fact, what sets him apart is a rather typical job in the computer industry. What makes his application unique, however, is that he is applying to a geological sciences program. His interest in mathematical modeling gives him a novel area of specialization to offer to the intellectual diversity of the program.

（原来跨专业申请也算unique）

Finally, this applicant shows that a personal, revealing story can be enough to set someone apart. By recounting a particular episode that sparked her epiphany as a writer, she gives us an in-depth look at her unique approach to her craft. Again, this essay does not discuss exotic experiences, but instead succeeds by painting a detailed, deeply personal portrait that no one else could have written.

Explain Blemishes

Staying up late the night before the GRE is not a legitimate reason for a bad performance, whiledocumented sickness could be. A particularly bad semester could be explained by a death or illness in the family. If you lack research experience, you might point out the number of hours you had to work to make college more affordable for you and your family.

Your best approach might be to try to transform such blemishes into something positive bypointing out particular courses in which you performed well, especially those that were more advanced, more relevant to your intended career path, or more recent.

personal statement 如何写Personal Statement(个人陈述)

make sure that you do not take a contentious tone. Don't accuse your teachers of unfair grading standards or complain about lack of extracurricular opportunities at your school. Be clear that you're not trying to excuse yourself of responsibility, but emphasize that you simply want the schools to have the complete picture.